Do you feel you don’t deserve to be on Camera?

Hey, Dare to Dreamers It's Michelle Osorio. And today I wanted to talk today about camera confidence.

Do you feel you don’t deserve to be on Camera?

Here's a little story, a story that a lot of people don't know. A story where I thought I don't deserve to be on camera for many years. Watch my YouTube video or read on to find out how I overcame stage and camera fright in my life.

Overcoming Fear of coming on Camera

There was a time in my life when I had a desire to express myself. I loved to sing and I loved standing on the stage and sharing my story. There was just one little problem. I had terrible stage fright. But I loved it so much that I still did it anyway. I auditioned for and I got into a Musical Theater Academy.

But every time I was on a stage, it was like going through a heart attack. Every time I would go on the stage, I could just feel my heart pounding in my chest. This made it really hard to sing.

If you don't know, you have to take deep breaths and control your breath as you project your voice. That's a little bit hard to do when you're trying to sing with your heart racing at the same time, as you want to take breaths all the time.

So I'm singing, and in my head as I'm going, I'm thinking, oh my gosh, I need to breathe, I need to breathe, I need to breathe because my heart is pounding, but I couldn't because I had to sing properly. It was really tough.

It was really hard and I wish I could tell you a happy ending story. That I overcame it when I was a teenager and I got over my stage fright, but actually I didn't. None of that happened and it was a bit of a sad story.

Delaying My Fear

The good part is I fell in love with film after I graduated from my Musical Theater Academy and I became a filmmaker. That was really awesome. I don't regret it.

The sad part is, I didn't know at the time, a little bit of that was an excuse because I was tired of being afraid all the time. And so if I could hide behind the camera, I would no longer have to stand out on that stage and be judged. I fell in love with telling stories, but I would hire actors and I would let them tell the stories for me. I would just craft the script and direct the shots. And although I loved it, I didn't realize this at the time, some of that was fueled by fear.

I did not feel comfortable taking the spotlight. It took me many years and the pushing of people who knew me to have the goal and the audacity to stand in front of the camera.

The Spotlight

Sometimes in our lives, we have a tendency to put other people in the spotlight instead of ourselves. Even though deep down inside, maybe we can admit it, maybe we can't, but deep down inside us, we want that spotlight. And deep down somewhere inside we feel like we deserve that spotlight too. But it can be so hard, can't it? To hear that voice?

Sometimes we just pass it off to someone else. We stand to the side of the stage and watch somebody else stand in the spotlight. We give that spotlight to someone else because something in us is arguing that we shouldn't have the audacity to take that spotlight ourselves.

It's that we don't have the confidence, or we feel we don't deserve it, or we think we don't look good enough. We're not thin enough, we're not tall enough, we're not old enough, we're not young enough, we're just not enough to take that spotlight.

Does this make sense?

Does anybody else know what that feels like?

Can I see some hand emojis or hear from you if you know what I'm talking about?

How I got my Happy Ending

But there is a happy ending here. Eventually, I did realize thanks to my friends pushing me in this direction.  I started getting on camera and I felt very uncomfortable. But I will say after many years I did get used to it and actually, now I feel comfortable in front of the camera.

It took a long time, but now I can actually watch myself and think you know, Michelle, I gained a few pounds, got a double chin there, your hair's kind of messed up but you know you did a good job. That's a good video and that's incredible.

I never would have thought a few years ago that I could watch myself like that and be happy. But it was a long road and it took a lot of looking at myself, looking at my life, looking at my desires and deciding I wanted it badly enough.

I wanted to share my story and share my voice myself with my voice. I decided I wanted that badly enough. That I was willing to be uncomfortable for a while standing in front of a camera until I was able to learn to get used to it and then get pretty good at it.

But that was a long journey. Has there ever been a time in your life where you felt that way and did you overcome it? Did you finally put your foot down and say, that's it, I want this badly enough? If so, what did you do I would really like to hear from you.

Do you have a story to share where you felt you don't deserve to be on camera?